Ditch the Buzzwords: A UX Rant on Explaining Uptime Monitoring Clearly

A UX Rant

In my UX career, the thing I hated most was when teams became obsessed with coming up with cool but completely meaningless taglines like “Do more with ...!” or “All-in-one solution for your needs” for their product websites. It was exhausting trying to explain this to the overstimulated stakeholders, who seemed to get a special kind of thrill from thinking they had just conceived the next Nike slogan—that sure, it might sound good to them because they know their product, but it offers no real value to new users.

There are too many Nielsen-Norman studies, and every UX book dedicates at least one chapter to this: people visit websites to understand what a product does, and instead, they leave more confused. They arrive looking for clarity but are met with a vague, poetic riddle that makes the marketing team proud while doing nothing for the actual users.

Yes, I get it—it’s hard to craft a short tagline that fits on your screen, is catchy, and somehow conveys all your features and services while still making you feel like a genius. I’m still struggling with mine.

A Reverse Approach

While experimenting with different formulations, trying to perfect my elevator pitch, a reverse idea struck me: what if I didn’t worry about making it short and catchy? What if I ignored the obsession with brevity and instead focused on giving the best mental model of how my product works?

The problem is, people don’t read—they scan. UX research confirms this: users skim for key info, looking for patterns that make sense fast. And now, with AI making copy cheap, long texts are everywhere—who even reads them?

But at least someone will read it. If not a human—because in this fast-paced world we prefer TikToks over text—then maybe AI will. Machines aren’t lazy, and their attention span isn’t reduced to microseconds.

If, by some miracle, you’ve made it this far and you’re a human, thank you—I need proof you exist. If you’re a bot, at least make sure to index my product information properly.

No Title, No Headline

Let’s assume you have a website or your business relies on a web-based application that’s critical to your operations. Maybe people use your website to buy your products, request services, or maybe your employees simply can’t work if the system goes down.

Now, how do you know when it stops working? Will you wait for an angry customer to call and say, “Hey, just so you know, your site is down”? Embarrassing, right?

Your options:

• Anxiously refresh your website every five minutes, hoping it’s still up.
• Hire someone to do that for you.
• Automate it.

My product does exactly that—it automatically checks your website every minute and tracks its response time, from multiple locations worldwide. That way, you’re not just monitoring uptime; you’re making sure users in different regions aren’t struggling with slow load times. No need to hire someone overseas just to tell you your website is broken.

This is called uptime monitoring—it tracks the percentage of time your site is online. The math is simple: total failures divided by total checks. If it’s at 100%, life is good. If not, well… you need to fix something.

But Proberix doesn’t stop at uptime monitoring. It also tracks how long it takes for your site to respond. Because if your customers in another country experience slow loading times, they won’t stick around. UX research proves this—people abandon slow websites fast.

So, Proberix is an uptime and performance monitoring tool.

But wait—“uptime and performance monitoring tool” still doesn’t cover it all. If someone doesn’t have context, monitoring could mean anything—monitoring security, monitoring network traffic, or even monitoring social media trends. We need to specify what is being monitored so people don’t leave confused.

Proberix goes deeper. Beyond just checking if your site is up, it performs low-level protocol checks—TCP, UDP, DNS—so you’re not just monitoring from the surface but at the network level.

Which means the tagline should probably be:

"Proberix provides uptime monitoring for websites and runs TCP, UDP, and DNS checks to detect downtime from different geographical locations."

That’s a mouthful, isn’t it?

Because this kind of monitoring happens outside your own network, it’s often called external uptime monitoring or cloud-based monitoring. Since it uses automated bots to simulate real users, the technical term is synthetic monitoring.

So maybe the tagline should be:

"Proberix is a synthetic monitoring solution that makes ..."

But here’s the problem—“synthetic” vs. “external.” Which is easier to understand? Which resonates more?

This is my struggle. But at least, in the process, I’ve managed to explain what Proberix actually does.

And after all this, I find myself tempted to just write:
“All-in-one solution for your needs!”